


Reminiscent

by adorablemarshmellow



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 6x07, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clexa, F/F, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorablemarshmellow/pseuds/adorablemarshmellow
Summary: During 6x07, when Clarke has finally given up, having lost everything, she gets a visit from someone that may change her life.(Fix-it fic because we were robbed is seeing one of the most beautiful characters to exist on the show)





	1. Chapter 1

"It's why you cry when you think of Lexa" 

"Shut up!" 

Clarke's heart clenched painfully with the memories of her lost lover. The familiar sting rose within her eyes as she fought to keep the tears at bay. 

Josephine eyed Clarke with intriguing interest. Who was this girl that haunted the corners of Clarke's mind? And what exactly happened to make Clarke become a mess every time she is as so much as mentioned? 

Josephine continued to talk, oblivious to the inner turmoil raging within Clarke's mind. 

"All of this is guilt for the deaths you've caused, but I don't get it. Why are you so torn up? Everything you did was to save your people. I'd do the same thing" 

Gathering her voice and forcing the tears building in her throat away, Clarke responds "That's not a ringing endorsement"

"The thing I don't get is why you don't care about saving your people now"

"What?"

"Let's say you could somehow fight me off and get your body back... what would that do to your friends and family? Do you think my father would just let me go? What you're doing now leads to the genocide of your people.. which I guess is par for the course with you"

Josephine makes a valid point. Clarke's heart is torn. She exclaims "I just want to live!"

But is it true? Does she truly want to live. To continue persevering through the pain each day with the reminder of all she has lost in her fight to survive. What was she even surviving for anyway. Madi? Her child that continues to grow into a beautiful woman each day. The same daughter who serves as a living reminder of her connection to her lost love. Pain rips through her chest with the memory of her last conversation with Madi about lexa, as she spoke those cherished words. What about her mother? Her mother was fine. She would be fine. She would move on. She would take care of Madi. Raven. Raven still hates her guts, she wouldn't miss Clarke. Murphy? They were never that close, he would get over it. Octavia? She's been hard to read, she hasn't shown any emotion otherwise, she'll probably remain indifferent to Clarke's death. Bellamy. He would miss her, but he would get over it, he has to. 

Josephine's words pierce through the thoughts running through Clarke's head 

"Do you though? Cause your mind sure doesn't seem to. Have you ever even considered that the solution is to sacrifice yourself?

Josephine's cutting words slashed at Clarke's heart. Should she give up? 

"Your people are safe. Bellamy made sure of it. I mean, he took your death hard, sure, but he knew the only thing a leader could do was strike a deal for peace. Now it's time for you to step up: Bow out gracefully, and your people get to live happily ever after"

No. Bellamy wouldn't do that. He wouldn't give up on her. He wouldn't have let her die. Doesn't he know that she's still alive! 

"You're lying. Bellamy would never do that"

"The lack of trust hurts me Clarke. But that's why I brought this.  
You have drawings, I have books. Don't judge, here, take it. It's not a trick, I don't play that way."

Clarke walks hesitantly toward Josephine's outstretched arm, carrying an old book. Her shaking hand makes contact with the worn cover and she is thrown into a vision of Bellamy making the deal. There is a familiar pull in her chest as she accepts the truth, Bellamy gave up on her. 

"It's time for you to sacrifice for your people Clarke. Don't start another war they'll have to fight."

Clarke chokes through the tears that have inexplicably begun to run down her face, "I need them to be okay"

"By my word, your people will be safe. Bellamys meeting with my father first thing in the morning to discus their compound. They'll have a new home, a new life. Madi can go to school, just like any other kid. Your friends can settle down. Everyone can stop fighting. Including you." 

How nice would it be for once in her life, for Clarke to stop fighting. To give in to peace. To finally rest. 

"Tell Madi I love her. Tell them all"

Clarke takes the first heavy step towards Lexa's throne. He heartbeat begins to fill her mind as she moves closer and closer. She crouches down to the locked box and brings a shaky hand up. 

"You forgot Bellamy and Raven"

Clarke enters 0-1-0-2 into the lock and a click resounds throughout the forest. Trying her best to ignore the painful memories of what resides within the box, she brings out the chip with her memory of Raven. 

She holds the chip put to Josephine and when she touches it, she can see the recognition cloud her eyes. 

"An EMP? Cool. It'll be over soon. I promise."

Josephine sauntered out of her mind, leaving Clarke to collapse under the weight of her emotions onto the floor. She pushed her body weight onto the arm of Lexa's throne in an attempt to keep her upright. As she touched her hand to the armrest, there was a flash and she was back at the start. Strolling into The Commanders tent, oblivious to her true love that would be seated in front of her. She felt herself walk into the tent under Gustus' revengeful she, making her way towards the intimidating woman seated on the extravagant throne, black coal framing her piercing green eyes. She felt her feet drag her to the centre of the foot, at the foot of The Commander 

"So, you're the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive"

The casual tone of the conversation distracted Clarke from the reality of the situation. She was there for her people. She was... but she couldn't help that her heart began to pound and blood rushed to her cheeks under the scrutinising gaze.

"You're the one who sent them there to kill us" 

She hoped she said the right thing, she couldn't tell. The woman was incredibly hard to read. Her breath hitched as the woman stopped using her delicate fingers to play with the dagger she was holding. Clarke blushed as she thought of what else those fingers could do. 

She unconsciously took a step back as the gaze of the Commander returned to hold her own. It was almost as if she was shooting the dagger she was holding right at Clarke. Nothing prepared Clarke for when she got off her throne and sauntered down to her level. They were the same height, but the woman held herself in a way that may as well have made her twice as tall. The smell of fresh pine and apples cloud her senses the closer she gets to her. Clarke watches her oblivious self helplessly, crying out for her to do something other than just stand there. To soak up every second she could with her true love. But it was fruitless, it was just a memory Lexa. Lexa was dead. She was ... gone. Forever. The love they shared conserved between them, not for any spectating eyes. No one knows what went down between them. Murphy may have suspected, but he didn't know the pure love that transpired between Clarke and Lexa. 

She was pulled out of her memory, in incredible pain. She let out a gut-wrenching sob that reverberated throughout the trees, dancing and echoing back at her. 

She forced her body up and onto the seat, her mind going blank as she stopped moving. 

~~~~~

Clarke regained consciousness some time later, she wasn't sure. The forest was still dark, no signs of the time that had surely passed. 

Her slumped body groaned as Clarke straightened her back. 

Clarke was ambushed with another flashback of Lexa. She observed her own body, placed on top of Lexa's lap, feet dangling over the edge. The smiles on their faces radiates happiness and joy. Clarke watched from the sidelines at the two girls, obviously and helplessly in love. Clarke only notices now, as her past self looks away to the door of the throne room, the way Lexa looked at her, like she was the only important thing in a whole world that had been burned to ash. Her heart stopped as she saw that look directed at her. 

Clarke's mind raced with a million thoughts. Lexa was innocent and loving, she showed Clarke a side of her that no one had ever seen before, except maybe her nightbloods. She cared so deeply and passionately it blinded Clarke. She didn't deserve to die before her time. She didn't deserve to be ripped away from life when she had finally received the love that the girl so desperately craved. She didn't deserve it. 

Clarke squeezes her eyes shut, unable to bear looking at the way her lover looked at her without her knowledge. Even though it was her, it didn't feel right to spectate. The soft fading laughter drowned out in Clarke's ears. As she cracked her eyes open, she saw she was back on Lexa's throne. 

She dramatically scrambled out of the seat. Clarke couldn't take any more emotional pain, if she saw another glimpse of Lexa, she's not sure what would happen. 

She walked hesitantly toward the exit, taking one last glance back at the throne, illuminated by light, standing out against everything else. Clarke turned away, walking back through the halls to where she had last seen her father. 

~~~

Some time later, Clarke was drawing her daughter, revelling in the fresh memories of her beloved child. She smudged the charcoal to give the drawing some depth, trying to focus on getting the eyes just right. She was finding it difficult to capture the life in those eyes, the eyes she saw look up at her with love and affection every day for over 5 years. Reminiscent of her daughter, she turned her face away as she felt the familiar sting build up. She looked next to her bed, but that only brought more pain. Next to her bed was a page full of Lexa at the significant moments they shared together. A creaking shattering the peaceful silent forced Clarke's head away from the paper. She glances towards the door and sees it has been cracked open. 

Clarke sits up, gently placing the piece of charcoal in her dirty hands onto her side table. 

"Dad?"

The door opens wider, with an increasingly loud scraping sound, forcing her to cringe at the volume. 

She calls out again for her father but receives no answer. Intrigued, she slowly moves off her bed and toward the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. She tiptoes across the wooden floorboard, making her way to the door. The door is completely open now, but the way it's placed prevents Clarke from seeing who it is. Clarke finally makes it around the door to be blinded by sunlight streaming through the door, silhouetting a figure. Her hand blocks the sun as she blinks, trying to see who is in her doorway. The person in front of her becomes in focus with her increasing blinks and her heart drops. Standing in front of her, outlined by soft sunlight is Lexa.


	2. Chapter 2

The woman in front of Clarke came into focus. It was Lexa, the love of her life, the one she watched slip away in her arms. For what feels like an eternity, Clarke observed Lexa. She sees her chocolate locks parted upon her head, tumbling down her shoulder to rest at her waist. She sees her features, piercing and sharp, but upon further inspection, soft and gentle, similar to the personality of the girl these features adorned. She sees the emerald green gaze directed onto her. They're eyes locked. Clarke couldn't breathe. The air was sucked out of her lungs, leaving her desperately grasping for breath. 

Lexa took a tentative step forward, slowly bringing her arms up to comfort Clarke. The moment she let a small smirk force it's way onto her lips due to the panic her lover was experiencing, a warm weight crashed into her. 

Lexa didn't have time to prepare for the masses of blonde hair, filing her mouth and nose. She didn't have time to steady her body to account for the sudden weight, momentum causing the two girls to topple into the door, a banging sound causing Lexa to jump slightly. She did have time, however, to gently wrap her arms around the soft waist of her love, gradually increasing the tightness for which she held her embrace while she soaked in the familiar smell of peppermint and something purely Clarke. 

The arms Clarke had thrown around Lexa's neck were tightening to the point that Lexa had to extract herself from her arms. 

"Clarke"

The familiar unique voice in which Lexa spoke her name won Clarke's focus and she took a step back. 

"Lexa? Is that really you?"

Clarke wished for it to be true, and not any trick that Josephine may be playing on her. 

Instead of a spoken response, Clarke received a timid smile and nod, arms outstretched to wrap her in a warm hug. 

Being in Lexa's arms felt like Clarke was home. That Clarke was safe. That she was at peace. 

Her mind briefly returned to what Russell had spoken to her what seemed like an eternity ago. 

"Have you ever known peace Clarke?"

When asked that question, Clarke's mind had immediately taken her to that one cherished afternoon that she and Lexa had spent together. She had turned her head from Russell when she saw the moment Lexa collapsed onto the floor flash in front of her eyes. 

But now she stands in front of the woman she saw die, clinging to her for dear life. A sob uncontrollably escapes her throat, the sound reverberating around the room. Clarke feels arms tighten around her waist and she is slightly lifted up, causing her to let out a little giggle, smiling into the crook of Lexa's neck. 

Clarke pulls away slightly, cerulean eyes locking with forest green. 

"It's so good to see you. I never thought I would see you again" 

"I told you once before Clarke, death is not the end" 

Clarke couldn't believe the love of her life was standing in front of her, not alive, but a figment of her imagination. But it was good enough. She took a confident step forward and brought her lips to Lexa's, humming in response to the warmth and love she received in return. 

When they broke apart, the girls let their foreheads gently rest against each other, both adorning small grins. Clarke's eyes fluttered open to meet the endless expanse of emerald green in front of her. 

Clarke wholeheartedly states" I missed you. I really hoped I would see you"

"We both know that I'm not truly here Clarke. I'm just in your head. And you need to get back out there and fight! Be the woman who I fell in love with, despite all odds"

Clarke's heart clenched with Lexa's confession, committing the words to memory. 

"But I can't. I told Josephine. I told her that I would give up. I'm done. I'm done fighting. I'm done living in a world where everything that I do, people hate me for. I'm done living where I don't have you, Lexa. I loved you so much, you were stolen from me too early."

Clarke hiccups with a sob that crashed into her. Tears fall down her face as she lashes out all of her emotions at Lexa.

"I can't do this without you. You've been gone for so long, yet I remember every second I was with you. I can feel your piercing gaze when you thought I wasn't looking. I felt your love for me when you protected me from the coalition. I could feel your strength as you fought Roan and I was terrified I would lose you. I saw your beauty, when I finally let myself have you. And I feel your absence like a hole in my heart! Madi is so much like you. You never met her, but she's incredible. When we used to spar, she would remind me so much of you, it was like you were there with us. And I'm never going to see her again. But she's safe. She's with people I trust."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself about that Clarke?"

Clarke wasn't kidding herself. She knew that she would never trust other people enough to take care of her daughter. She knew that she was going to miss out on all the important milestones in her life. Clarke would miss her first crush and her first heartbreak, all the things that her mother was there for her for. 

"I'm going to miss so much now that I'm gone". This was the first time that the reality of the situation hit Clarke. She was dead. No loopholes or sudden surprises. She was going to die and nothing could stop that. 

"No you're not Clarke. You are going to fight for your life so that you can get back to the people you love. How is this doing better? What would Monty say?"

The reminder of her late friend sends a sharp stab through her heart. She never got to say goodbye. To him, to Harper, to Lexa... 

Lexa steps forward until she's looking directly into Clarke's eyes, warm hands coming up to cradle her face. 

"You are so incredibly brave and strong Clarke Griffin. You have people that need you out there. Don't give up. You can't give up. You need to fight. You need to get back to the people that love you."

Lexa's smile at the end made up her mind. Clarke was going to get out. She wasn't giving up. She was not going to die today. 

After a quick kiss, Clarke faces Lexa, determination clouding her blue eyes. 

"Ok, so how do I get out of here?"


End file.
